Eliza's Birth Story

Mom and dad had been staying with us for the week before the baby was due.  Friday, June 8th was the due date.  On Friday afternoon, Dad wanted to go back home to Cape May for the weekend to take care of some errands.  Mom was undecided about whether or not to go. I told her to go ahead and go home because if they were here, the baby would probably never come, just like it won’t rain when you have your umbrella with you.  Our next door neighbors, Craig and Carol Grunke were more than willing to be on call for Livy for the weekend, so mom and dad drove back to Cape May.  Later that evening, Livy and I were dancing around listening to Beyoncé in the kitchen together and I seemed to feel better and more active than I had felt in a while.  I hoped the dancing would help to bring on labor.  The next day Daddy and Livy let me sleep in, and I woke up at around 9:45.  I went downstairs and had a bowl of Cheerios for breakfast. Right after I finished the Cheerios, I told Kyle that I didn’t feel so good and I wondered if today would be the day.  I just had kind of a deep, crampy feeling. I decided to go upstairs and take a shower and see if I would feel better or worse afterward. While in the shower, and as I was getting dressed, I started to have what felt like the pain of real contractions, but I didn’t know for sure.  One reason I couldn’t tell is because I had been having fairly strong Braxton Hicks (false contractions) for months and I thought maybe this was just Braxton Hicks combined with diarrhea cramps (another unpleasant symptom of pregnancy).  I timed a couple of the pains and they were just about four minutes apart. I thought to myself, if these are real contractions, then they are awfully close together! (All the books and doctors typically say to call the doctor when the contractions are five minutes apart for an hour.) I didn’t waste any time before calling down to Kyle and telling him to call the Grunkes right away and bring Livy over there.  I told him to tell them that it could be a false alarm, but no matter what, I wasn’t feeling well and it would be helpful for them to take her.  I also remember thinking and saying, “I don’t want to do this! If this is anything like the real thing, I don’t think I can do this!”  (That sparked the thought that I was probably really in labor).  I called my mom and dad at 10:22 a.m.  I told my dad that I might be in labor. I told my mom I was having pains. I said, “I’m having one right now.” She said, “Ok, call me back and update me.”  (She later said she could tell by the sound of my voice I must have been in transition.)  While waiting for Kyle to come back and throw the bags in the car, I lay on my bed and continued to try to figure out if what I was having were actual labor contractions, while using deep breathing techniques. I imagined expanding my uterus as big as possible like a balloon as I inhaled. When Kyle came up I made him put his hand on my uterus during the contraction to see if it was getting hard.  He calmly said, “Yes. Definitely.”  I said, “Call the doctor.”  He called and left a message. I said, “Let’s go downstairs so I don’t get stuck up here on the bed.”  We hurried downstairs and I lay on the couch as Dr. Garfinkel called back. He asked to talk to me.  I told him I just started going into labor and I seemed to be having big contractions that were four minutes apart with a little contraction in the middle.  I said I was concerned because my first labor was fast so that’s why we were calling as soon as possible. He said I’d better get to the hospital. We got out to the Civic and just as I sat down, I noticed some blood and water leaking out. I felt a rush of excitement like I finally knew for sure this was the real thing.  I told Kyle, “I thought you said you were going to put a garbage bag down for me to sit on!”  I quickly grabbed a thick student progress report from the back seat and asked if Kyle needed it. He said, “No”, so I sat on it. Once I knew for sure I was in labor, I felt excited rather than scared that it was happening. I became completely focused on birthing the baby in a calm, controlled manner. Kyle was trying to drive as fast as possible. He said, “Hurry up, Grandpa!” to the pick-up truck in front of us. I told Kyle not to rush but to focus on driving as smoothly as possible.  I wanted to be as comfortable and safe as possible if I had to go through labor in the car. I told him, “It’s okay. Calm down.”  Kyle flew down 287 at 85 MPH and made it to the hospital in 10 minutes.  I remember thinking this is so different than the middle of the night ride we made to the hospital before Olivia’s birth.  I could see everyone around us going about their usual daily routines.  It made me feel like we were doing something more important than the people around me, yet also very normal.          We pulled up to the hospital door and I waited to have one more contraction in the car before getting out.  My contractions were about 2 minutes apart.  The attendant came and gave me a wheelchair.  It was annoying because it didn’t have a footrest (none of them had footrests) so I had to work hard to keep my feet from dragging while enduring several more contractions.  Kyle pushed me up to the maternity ward doors and there was a big tour group and mop machine blocking the way.  The lady leading the tour asked, “Do you need to get through?” and Kyle was like, “Yes!”  When we got up to the reception desk, they treated me as if I was just your average person checking into a motel or something.  They asked, “Did your water break?”  I said, I think so but not sure.  I’m having frequent contractions and I’m about to have a baby.”  I was still calm and smiling between contractions.  I was admitted at 11:09.  As they were pushing me down the hall, I made the nurse stop the wheelchair for a contraction because I had to rest my feet on the floor during it.  The nurse pushed me to the delivery room and asked me to get up and go to the bathroom to pee in a cup and then change into a robe.  I remember thinking that was going to be way too hard for me, and that she clearly was missing the urgency of the situation.   Nevertheless, I was trying very hard to do what I was told.  I got out of the wheelchair and stumbled into the bathroom.  When I tried to pee in the cup, thick blood was coming out.  I quickly ran back out to the bed and told the nurse I couldn’t pee in the cup because I was about to have the baby.   She examined me and seemed shocked at the amount of blood.  She called for help and started asking me if I had placenta previa or if the doctor had told me my baby was too low or anything like that.  I said no.  Other nurses and a doctor (not my own) rushed in and they were all talking about the amount of blood with panic in their voices.  At this point, I decided to try to tune them out, trust God and reflect on some scripture verses that I had memorized in advance.  One of the verses was Isaiah 26:3  “You will keep him (her) in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he(she) trusts in you.”   The nurses kept asking me questions and each time I felt like they were interfering with my peaceful thoughts.  Kyle came into the room after running back to park the car.  He looked alarmed and confused by the flurry of nurses and I tried to tell him it was just some blood and nothing to worry about.  After he came in, the standby doctor examined me and I was close to 10 cm dilated.  She told us that everything was okay and it’s just that I was about to have the baby.  There was nothing wrong with my placenta.  She said she would be there to catch the baby if Dr. Garfinkel didn’t make it.  There were about 5 nurses in the room with us.   Just then, Dr. Garfinkel blew in and started putting his gloves on.  He examined me and said, “You’re ready to go. I’m glad I made it!”  The contractions quickly became very intense.  I closed my eyes and felt my body in a state of complete chaos.  The words of the worship song “Who am I?” by Casting Crowns came to me: I am a flower quickly fading Here today and gone tomorrow A wave tossed in the ocean A vapor in the wind Still you hear me when I'm calling Lord, you catch me when I'm falling My body was in turmoil and I felt like a wave tossed in the ocean, but my mind was focused on God and the task at hand.  I felt a deep, inner sense of peace and joy like I have never experienced before, even in the midst of the most intense contractions.  I started the birth breathing technique of inhaling and then imagining the air flowing down to the baby and out as I exhaled.  When the pain became too intense, I switched over to breathing “hee hee hoo hoos” and the nurses told me “That’s it!” and that I was doing an awesome job.   Dr. Garfinkel told me I was ready to push during the next contraction.  When the contraction came, the nurse named Pia, next to me, told me to take a deep breath and then push.  I exhaled as I was pushing because I was still imagining that I was gently breathing down the baby.  The nurses told me not to exhale as I was pushing.  I felt a little annoyed that they acted as if I had made a mistake by exhaling.  I wished that I could be encouraged or allowed to try to move my baby down in my own way.  But I put these thoughts behind me to do what was expected of me and push the baby out. They told me to push and I pushed as hard as I could while keeping my jaw, facial muscles, and other extraneous muscles relaxed.  There was some commotion and I heard Dr. Garfinkel say, “Dad is down.”  I came out of my trance and asked, “What happened to Kyle?  Is he okay?” and I told him I was all right and not to worry.  Everything was a blur so I’m not sure exactly what happened next.  I think with one more push, the baby’s head crowned.  And on the third push the baby was born.  Our beautiful baby girl was born at 11:18 a.m.  The Dr. gave her to me right away and put her on my chest.  She looked up at Kyle and me as we smiled down on her and she said, “Cry”.  It was the sweetest word I had ever heard.  Kyle and I looked at each other in amazement and said, “She just said, ‘Cry.’”  I said, “It’s okay, Mommy and Daddy are here.”     I was so glad that I got to hold and nurse her right away.  She was adorable with deep blue eyes and a little brown hair.  Everyone was all smiles.  Dr. Garfinkel looked at me grinning and said, “That was fun! Thanks!”  The nurses said they were amazed at how polite I was during labor and that I seemed more concerned with my husband than myself.  While Kyle went with the nurses to weigh the baby, I was shivering and shaking uncontrollably and realized my hair was still wet from not having a chance to dry it after my morning shower.  I hadn’t even had time to get dressed in a hospital gown.  I asked for blankets and Dr. Garfinkel went to find some and came back with a gown too. It was kinda funny because he told me he wasn’t used to helping with gowns as he struggled to snap it together and put it on me the wrong way. The nurses told us the baby weighed 8lbs., 8 oz.  A good-sized, healthy girl!        After they weighed her and put vitamin K in her eyes, they left Kyle and me alone with the baby for almost an hour.  We called Livy to tell her about her new sister.  We called all the grandparents as well, and everyone was full of joy.    We named her Eliza Joyce which means either “God’s joyful promise” or “joyfully promised to God”.  Little Eliza is both of those things, and we knew it from before she was even born.  I am so amazed at God’s timing and handiwork in this birth story. He made sure I went into labor on a Saturday morning so that Kyle would be with me for the birth.  He blessed me by giving me a fast and furious labor so that I didn’t have to make any difficult decision about whether or not to take an epidural.  He made all the decisions for me ahead of time because He knew I could do it and that natural birth was a desire in my heart.  Eliza was born less than one hour after I had called my mom to tell her I might be in labor, less than 10 minutes after I was admitted to the hospital.   I feel like God met all of my needs.  He blessed me in a way that I will never forget.  Thank you, Lord for your special promise to me in Eliza.    Kyle’s Perspective

I was out of the delivery room for what seemed like an eternity, but was actually only about 5 minutes.  I had to run back to the car to get the camera.  When I grabbed the camera I figured I could move the car to an actual parking spot.  However, the ones reserved for expectant parents were blocked off by construction vehicles, so I took my chances in the parking garage that was very close by.  The only spot open was two floors up and in the way, way back.  I parked the car there and ran at full speed back to the room.  When I got back, the nurses looked a little panic-stricken and I was huffing and puffing and started to get anxious.  I checked on mommy, and she seemed as well as one can be.  When the Dr. told me everything was okay, I felt a little better.

I would like to report that I was an excellent labor partner, but I actually almost fainted twice.  I say almost because the nurses could see it was about to happen and directed me to a chair.  The first time happened right at the beginning of the “pushing”.  The Polish nurse (as I think of her) directed me to grab a leg and hold tight.  This was bad advice – once I did this I became light headed and spacey.  I wasn’t put off by the blood; I think it was just the rush of emotions.  Anyway, the Polish nurse stuck me in a chair where I could watch what was happening.  As I was watching, the baby began to appear.  I went back over to Sarah’s side but got woozy again.  Back to the chair for me!

Next thing I knew, the baby was out!  I went back to Sarah’s side and they gave me a stool to sit on.  I was so proud of Sarah and so excited to see our baby for the first time.  Really, there is no other feeling like it. Watching Olivia and Eliza come into the world are two of the highlights of my life.  I had little tears of joy in my eyes. You can see them in the photos.  I didn’t get to cut Eliza's cord, but I did hold her right away!  And I made sure that they let her nurse right away!  Your mom and I smiled at each other and sat in relief.  I was in awe of beautiful Sarah and Eliza and felt like the luckiest man in the world.   Dr. Garfinkel said he was glad he didn’t have to miss the Devil’s game and I was happy for him – playoff tickets are tough to get!  

When it was time for Sarah to go to the maternity room, the nurse took Eliza to the nursery and I followed along.  I snapped pictures and told her “I love you” about a million times.  It was cute because she was right next to another little boy.  She was way bigger than him and it made me chuckle.  I wasn’t ready for such a big baby!  Eliza was peaceful and adorable and did not fuss a bit.  The only thing she did not like in the nursery was when she got her hair washed.  After that it was a whirlwind of sleep deprivation and visitors.  It was definitely a wonderful experience!  When we all got home, our family felt complete.